Diagnosis Murder: A Tribute
by Jennifer Hart
Summary: A little poem I wrote around the time the final regular episode aired.


Disclaimers: Own them

**Disclaimers: Own them? No, I'm just nuts! (Amanda, **_**Murder on the Run**_**)**

I wrote this prior to the last regular episode airing in 2001 and just got around to posting it. The lines that are bolded and italicized are direct episode quotes or moments that came into my mind for each line. Consider there a spoiler warning for the whole series.

**Diagnosis Murder: A Tribute**

For eight years we watched them

Welcomed them into our homes

Felt like they were our closest friends

A part of our family

They made us laugh

They made us cry

Delores, Jack, Norman, Amanda, Steve, Jesse, and Mark.

Delores

Feisty, funny, Delores

For many now just a vague memory

A name on a website

Mark's female counterpart

But a lot more feisty

_**Delores: I don't have time for your practical jokes!**_

_**Mark: No, Delores (hee-hee) I really (ha-ha) need your help!**_

Jack

Tough, bad-boy Jack

Who can forget your squabbles with Amanda?

Your crazy wisecracks

"_**Now, there once was a young boy..."**_

Your interesting approach to solving problems

_**Sitting on Steve's shoulders trying to set off the smoke detector**_

Norman

Crazy, neurotic Norman

Most of your personality you wore on the surface

It was easy to know you right away

Your devotion to your hospital

"_**Better, now that we've got our hospital back."**_

Your paranoia

"_**Stay away from me, I'm cursed!"**_

Your desire to make others believe you were profound

"_**It's hanging over us like a black curtain of doom...and I'm the curtain rod!"**_

Your quickness to take offense when somebody questioned you

"_**The thought never crossed my mind."**_

Or answered your question with an answer you didn't want to hear

"_**I got a dead lady's flowers?"**_

Yet underneath, you still had a soft side.

"_**Hi, Stevie."**_

And then there was the Fab 4

Amanda

Sweet, reliable Amanda

Who can forget you sleeping in the doctor's lounge?

We saw you change so much

From the sibling squabbles with Jack

To the wise older sister role with Jesse

_**Amanda embracing Jesse in prison**_

You were always the quick wit of the group

"_**It's absolutely Norman-proof!"**_

"_**No, Norman, you're just nuts."**_

"_**Did they harvest the bark before or after the Indians ate it?"**_

"_**You didn't see his corpse."**_

You had a knack for not mincing words

"_**You sound like a killer."**_

"_**Actually, I was thinking about a murder."**_

"_**That is, unless you want this lady to know about your dead sex partner."**_

You always knew the right thing to say

"_**I'm proud of you, Norman."**_

"_**Mark, don't listen to him. It's not your fault."**_

In many ways, you were the emotional backbone.

Steve

Terse, determined Steve

Your father's reluctance to believe your suspect was guilty drove you crazy

"_**Uh-oh, why not?"**_

But you were always his biggest supporter

_**Drops his badge in the mud puddle in front of Burnside**_

You never lost sight of your priorities

"_**Yeah, I'm a cop, Delaney, but I'm a son first!"**_

You refused to accept a hopeless situation

"_**We don't know anyone's been harmed. You may know Karn, but you don't know my father."**_

And you never let anyone get away with harming your father.

"_**If you've done anything to my father, you're going to wish I'd dropped you."**_

"_**If this doesn't turn out right you're going to wish you'd never saw me."**_

"_**I'm going to find Rosser and then I'll kill him."**_

Like your father, you had a penchant for truth and justice

"_**You weren't wrong, the evidence was."**_

"_**If you were me, Didi Harris would be in jail for murder, not dead."**_

Your smile was rare, but we did see it.

Just like your sentimental side.

"_**I'm not going to alter my life by becoming an orphan."**_

"_**I love you, Dad."**_

"_**You didn't miss anything, Jesse. It wasn't there."**_

"_**Oh, I don't know. Be here if you need to talk, give you a pat on the back."**_

And like all your friends, you loved kids.

"_**That crazy pony.", hugs child.**_

No matter what, you were always there for your friends.

Jesse

Adorable, precious Jesse

You brought so much to the series

You were always so eager

"_**I figured I'd stake the place out."**_

"_**You want me to do something. Right away, sir."**_

_**Twirling the ignition wire to keep George from escaping.**_

"_**Anything."**_

And you had some of the best comments before and after Mark figured things out

"_**I'm always doing that."**_

_**Jesse: I know exactly what he's talking about.**_

_**Amanda: You do?**_

_**Jesse: Are you kidding? I haven't a clue.**_

Of course, that isn't to say you didn't have your fair share of figuring it out

"_**Maybe what we're looking for isn't **_**in**_** the bag."**_

"_**She didn't do it, Steve."**_

"_**He didn't do it."**_

You hated not being taken seriously

"_**I hate being humored."**_

And when people were mad at you

"_**Yes. Is it working."**_

I loved your logic

"_**Although technically you didn't have George."**_

Your determination

_**Following Mark when he was taken prisoner by George Karn.**_

Your knack for stating what we didn't need to hear at that moment

"_**It's just that murderers return."**_

Your attempts to make people feel better when you were scared to death yourself

"_**You didn't have to get all dressed up just for me."**_

"_**Well, at least Steve has pay-per-view."**_

Your knack for getting into trouble

"_**I didn't write this book, though."**_

"_**Mom always told me not to grab other kids' toys. I guess she was right."**_

_**The basketball agent's girlfriend putting him in a chokehold when he sneaked on to the property.**_

Your humor regarding Norman.

"_**Definitely the curtain rod."**_

"_**Just when you think that guy can't get any weirder."**_

"_**Maybe she could invent a cream where the rash stays, and Norman..."**_

You tried so hard to appear brave, but you didn't always manage it.

"_**What's the use? I mean, we both know what it means and there's nothing we can do about it." Swallows hard.**_

Yet it was your vulnerability that made you so adorable.

_**Getting dizzy as the smallpox took effect.**_

_**Unconscious after the hospital bombing and after being hit by the car.**_

"_**I'll fight this."**_

"_**I'm so scared."**_

"_**Steve. What's happening to me?"**_

You gave us some of the most heartwrenching moments of the series.

"_**You'd better get that. It might be a member of your staff who still trusts you."**_

"_**You left me."**_

"_**You don't care about me!"**_

"_**How can I sleep with everything htat's going on around here?"**_

"_**It hurts."**_

You also gave us one of the most heartfelt lines we ever heard.

"_**This is what made me want to become a doctor."**_

If we could have seen Mark at your age, I think we'd have been seeing you.

And finally, Mark

Dear, Mark

I think Amanda summed it up the bes.

"_**Only you, Mark."**_

Only you could drive me nuts with just a few words

"_**That's it!"**_

"_**Of course!"**_

"_**Why didn't we see it before?"**_

Only you could be the most reassuring character, and yet scare me half to death

"_**It could be anyone."**_

Only you could get me hooked on a series

And yet make me scared to watch an episode 30 seconds into it.

"_**We're all dying, Connie, from the moment we're born."**_

Only you could make me break my die-hard philosophy that main characters don't die

_**Amanda: It just doesn't make any sense what happened yesterday.**_

Only you could make me cry twice in the same episode

_**Amanda: It just doesn't make any sense what happened yesterday.**_

_**Mark: It's Constance's medical report.**_

Only you could the be person who never gives up

And then rip my heart out when discouragement finally hits

"_**They fired me, Amanda."**_

"_**They took it away from me."**_

Only you would rollerskate or ride on a scooter through the hospital

Or break your finger in a way that nobody else would even think of

"_**I wouldn't do that if I were you, Norman**_**."**

Only you would willingly inject yourself twice with a deadly virus to save another's life

_**Jesse: Then you've just committed suicide.**_

_**Jesse: You didn't try to stop him?**_

Only you could innocently accuse a criminal and they wouldn't even realize it

Only you could match Carter Sweeney with the best comeback I've ever heard

_**Carter: I think she's mentally ill.**_

_**Mark: It must run in the family.**_

Only you could provide one of the most profound lines the series ever had

"_**I did what had to be done."**_

Only you could fool a hard-nosed FBI agent and keep from getting arrested in the process

"_**Would it make you feel better if I promised to never do it again?"**_

Only you could give a line equal to Harrison Ford's "The good guys are here!"

"_**I can't stop your sickness, but I can stop you. I'm through with you."**_

Only you could give one of the most heartfelt expressions of friendship we ever heard

_**Then why did I come here? I could have stayed away, but I didn't. I knew you needed me."**_

Only you, Mark. Only you.

As the sun sets on this wonderful era,

All I can say is, "Thanks, everybody.

Thanks for all the memories."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Episode References:**

Delores: Episode with the laughing gas killer

Jack: I'm not sure where these scenes are from. The first was an episode where Mark kept telling the story about how he first met and helped Jack and Jack finally got fed up and started to tell it from his perspective. The other had Steve and Jack locked in a room by the bad guys and they deliberately set off the sprinklers to get the bad guys in and let them out.

Norman: 1) _Murder of Mark Sloan_; 2-4) _Murder on the Run_; 5-6) _Murder of Mark Sloan_

Amanda: 1) _Murder Two; _2-3) _Murder on the Run;_ 4) _Slam Dunk Dead_; 5) _Murder Can Be Contagious_; 6) _Murder of Mark Sloan_; 7-8) _Murder on the Run_; 9) _Misdiagnosis Murder_; 10) _Resurrection_

Steve: 1) _Murder on the Run; _2) _Obsession; _3-7) _Murder on the Run; _5) _X Marks the Murder_; 6) _Murder on the Run_; 7) _Murder of Mark Sloan_; 8) _Retribution_; 9) _Murder on the Run;_ 10) _Murder of Mark Sloan_; 11) _Murder in the Air_; 12) _Slam Dunk Dead_; 13) _Blood Will Out_; 14) _Gangland_

Jesse: 1) _Witness to Murder;_ 2-4) _Murder on the Run_; 5) _Murder on the Run??_; 6) _Physician, Murder Thyself_; 7) _Murder Can Be Contagious_; 8) _Blind Man's Bluff_; 9) _The Patient Detective_; 10) _Misdiagnosis Murder_; 11) _Dead in the Water_; 12-13) _Murder on the Run_; 14) _Witness to Murder_; 15-16) _Murder Can Be Contagious_; 17) _Out of the Past_; 18) _Misdiagnosis Murder_; 19) _Slam Dunk Dead_; 20-22) _Murder on the Run_; 23-24) _Murder Can Be Contagious_; 25) _Resurrection _and _Misdiagnosis Murder_; 26) _Misdiagnosis Murder_; 27) _Slam Dunk Dead_; 28-31) _Alienated_; 32) _Misdiagnosis Murder_; 33) _Bachelor Fathers_; 34) _Murder on the Run_.

Mark: 1) _Murder on the Run_; 2-4) Just about every episode; 5-8) _Murder of Mark Sloan_; 9-10) _Obsession; _11) _X Marks the Murder_; 12) _Murder Can Be Contagious_; 13) _Blood Will Out_; 14) _Resurrection_; 15) _Obsession_; 16) _Alienated_; 17) _Resurrection_; 18)_ Alienated_


End file.
